Friday, June 30, 2006

Anniversary Day

One year ago today he asked me if I'd be his girlfriend. I never thought that my simple "yes" answer would soon lead to another big question that I answered "yes" to as well. I wonder what the next question will be...

Amazing how God brings people together...I was never expecting it at all!

Thursday, June 29, 2006

One month to go!

In exactly 30 days I will be married. I will start a family of my own (though it will be a while before there will be any additions). I almost can't believe it's finally here! Now that it's so close I do believe the 7 or so months did go by quickly. I'm getting more and more excited each day!

I think it's so incredible how God allows marriage to even exsist among us fallen beings. His grace is ever abundant! I am not perfect, nor will I ever be...same with my husband, but I have the perfect example to follow after, our Lord Jesus Christ. His example and how He loves His people (the church) is what marriage was created to look like. Ephesians 5 explains:

22Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

25Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.[
a] 28In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30because we are members of his body. 31"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." 32This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

I pray the Lord gives me and my soon to be husband the wisdom and strength to get through these next few months with all the decisions we have to make regarding finances, apartment, transportation, moving, etc. Especially adjusting to living with each other! I pray that we always look up to our Lord before we look down, or around for advice in the situations we encounter.
I pray for myself that I have patience and not go with my natural tendancy to rush things along just so they "get done". That I put my husband's needs before my own and show the greatest respect a wife possibly can; and to love him and take care of him as best as i can. I pray that my husband and I go through this life here on earth together serving the Lord and His people and being an example to others, not by our gifts/talents/abilitites, but by the love and respect we show towards each other as a married couple.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Romans 12:9-21

Marks of the true Christian:
Let love be genuine.
Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.
Love one another with brotherly affection.
Outdo one another in showing honor.
Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
Live in harmony with one another.
Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly.
Never be conceited.
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head."
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Monday, June 26, 2006

iPod nano

work is so much better now that i have my ipod-thanks so much b! now i don't have to listen to the other ladies in the office complain about their families (kids, grandkids, and husbands), how far behind we are because our system crashed last thursday, all their health issues, etc.
now i can just ignore it all and listen to my favorite music...yeah, it's great!

Saturday, June 24, 2006

do you know that i know what you know that i wasn't supossed to know?

i hate suprises. i'd rather it be that i know what the suprise is without letting them know that i know (you may have to read that sentence again slow). i'm good at that game. good at pulling it off. so many things i wasn't supossed to know but did, or found out... birthday is tomorrow.

Friday, June 23, 2006

that's just how it goes...

What is important to me, what I get exctied about, what I like may not have the same affect on my fiance as it does on me.

Isn't that one of those things that girls automatically assume with guys? whatever I like, he should like too, right? Nope...I'm not hearbroken or anything, he just hindered my spirits a bit, I'll get over it quick. I just feel like a dumb little girl, that's all.
Oh, and then when you do find something that he (or both of you) get excited about...most guys don't respond very enthusiastically at all. That's just how it goes. Nothing will change that. Very few things excite a guy in which a girl can significantly tell that he is as thrilled as she is...

Thursday, June 22, 2006

"are you getting nervous yet?"

another day closer.
i am reminded constantly of how drastically my life will change here in the next month or so. ladies at work are trying to scare me i, that can't be their intentions, but that's how they come across. they seem to always make a big deal of how we have yet to find an apartment in california, how we're so young to be gettting married, how they think i should finish my education and stop wanting to grow up so fast...i don't care...this is how it's gonna be! i'm excited and can't wait...i don't really have any major worries... i am getting married to a wonderful man who will love me and take care of me for the rest of my life. why should i worry? i have a gracious Father who will guide me and show His love to me and He still will show His love to me though i am completely and utterly unworthy of it. No matter how great or how tough the circumstances may be, i will be watched after. it's gonna be a big change and it won't be a honeymoon for forever I know...but i can still be excited and i don't have to worry because...i choose not to!
even people at church are like "are you getting nervous yet?" "have you found an apartment yet?" as if to tell us we should be worried, nervous or whatever because of how soon everything is coming up...don't people know that you can plan a wedding, move to another state, and begin a new life without having a heart attack?
now not everyone reacts to our plans negatively...there are some that are as exctied as we are...those people are encouraging to me. grandma mary is one who is very excited for us...she makes me laugh...she was born to a family that had 13 kids so she married at age 15. she sees nothing scary at all about what we are about to do. she's seen hard times, and her advice would probably be that you can make it through it if you are wise with your money and if we have each other. and diane....she's always telling everyone how excited she is to finally have a girl in her family. and kyle and kim...they're in the same boat as us...young, about to marry, and excited for it all.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

point of no return

growing, learning, responsibility....i'm at the point where i have to. sometimes i want it, and at other times i don't. can anyone relate?
maybe it's just because i'm about to turn 21 on sunday. i'm at the point where there is no return...i have to be a responsible adult. next year i'll be 22 and the next 23! that sounds so old to me right now...why?
or maybe it's because in 38 days i will be getting married and will have a crap load of responsibility suddenly drop on my shoulders. i'm gonna have to be the one who brings home the bacon until he finishes school. that's 4-5 years down the road. is this really what i want? some days i just want to sleep in and do nothing all day, but that's not reality. no one can do that everyday. it would be such a waste anyways! i want to wake up to my husband, get him off to work, take the kids to school, clean, do shopping, make dinner....but i'm not there yet, obviously. what i do right now, if i am responsible with what i have now, if i am faithful, then in the future maybe God will bless me with kids, not having to have a job, etc. i must prove to be faithful. but even then, my wants and desires may not be what God has in store for my life. it may be nothing close to the plan He has for me...He can change my desire. it sounds so easy, to just tell myself to wait on the Lord and do His will.... i will fall, but my Lord is full of grace. i will strive to seek Him and do His will...if that means living in Africa as a missionary, then so be it. what i want is not what matters. my life is not my own. i am His, i am an alien living in a foreign land.

I'm ready to grow up.

come back to me

Queasy...hate this feeling,
like I've been running for miles and miles.
talk to me, tell me what's on your mind.
make these rushing, spinning thoughts get out of my head.
I can't tell what's going on.
I need you.
You're so near, much more than before...
but it seems like the distance is the same as it used be.
Come back to me and show me your world.
I want to go into the distance and search for your thoughts
and bring you back to reality.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

first post

I've been reading some friends' blogs and some friends of friends' blogs sitting here at work and decided suddenly that I should give it a try...I'm not sure if anyone will read this, but at this point I don't is boring and at least I can continue to read and possibly comment on other's posts...that's all for now!